A tricky part about making a complaint-free commitment like I’m proposing in this week’s lesson is that so many people in our lives haven’t made the same commitment. We’ve trained our co-workers that we are available for complaining sessions, so they stop by our office just like old times, pull up a chair and launch into whatever’s stuck in their craw. And there you are, faced with the decision: you could fall into the old habit with them, or you could try something different.
Here are a couple of suggestions to support your new complaint-free habit:
Ask the complainer (graciously, of course): “What about this situation can you control?” or “What do you think you will do about it?”- Write down a helpful motto that reminds you not to complain; for instance: Don’t Complain, make requests! (see Experiment #2 below) or a simple Stop Complaining! also works. Keep a copy of your motto somewhere handy, like in your wallet or on your office wall. If a complainer gets started, just point to your motto. Let the complainer know you’re enrolled in this learning program and as part of that, you have this assignment to try out not complaining (so if they could kindly, ahem, shut up, that would be just fine with you.)