If well-formed, requests have the power to compel action.
- One way of understanding “leadership” is that it means being able to influence outcomes.
In order to influence outcomes, it is critical to be able to create or strengthen alignment among individuals. Requests are an exceptional way to go about doing that. Here are some tips on forming powerful and effective requests:
- Clarity. Get clear about what you want. Have a specific goal in mind before you make a request.
- Direction. Request a positive action, as opposed to a negative action, using action language (i.e., rather than telling someone what you don’t want them to do, tell them what you do want them to do.)
- Precision. Make precise asks that involve concrete actions.
- Reasonableness. Request, don’t demand. This means that the person receiving your request is able to say “no” and life will go on.
- Language. Use request language (e.g., “it would help me if ___” or “could you ___ so that ___”); avoid complaint language (e.g., “why___,” “don’t ___,” “you [or someone else] should ___”)
Once you’ve made your request, it’s a good idea to get a clear commitment from the other person that they will perform your request. Without it, you can’t be sure your request has landed.
Pro tip: make sure your requests are do-able. What I mean is, requests tend to be future-focused and specific (i.e., actionable), whereas complaints are typically focused on the past and more general. Watch out for areas where you think you are making a request but where it isn’t actually possible to perform what you’re talking about because everything is in the past or too many details are missing.