1. How am I showing up? (1x this week) Early in the week, set aside about 30 minutes to complete this Self-Assessment Handout to help you gain insight into how you show up.
2. “Stuff” that can get in the way of showing up (nightly, for the week).
Part 1. This week, pay attention to how you show up in your interactions (include all types of interactions: IM, email, hallway conversation, or meeting). Notice whether any of the following behaviors plays a part in how you show up:
i. You agree or say yes when you don’t really mean it
ii. You don’t speak up in a meeting even though you have something to say
iii. You decide not to take an action because you worry you will “look stupid”
iv. You criticize an idea or say no to a request without working a bit harder to come up with a solution
v. You stop listening or otherwise disengage when the group doesn’t listen to your idea
Part 2. Each night this week, take ten minutes to reflect on interactions earlier in the day when you noticed any of the behaviors listed in Part 1. Take a moment to write in your journal:
i. What you noticed
ii. Whether, for the behavior you noticed, you can identify any source of discomfort that might have contributed to why you engaged in the behavior. Recall from your lesson, common sources of discomfort for professionals include:
a. Voicing an unpopular opinion; disagreeing with a colleague or your boss
b. Speaking the truth even when you know it’s not what they want to hear
c. Saying “I don’t know,” “I made a mistake” or “what are the gaps in my logic?”
d. Receiving feedback or giving feedback
e. Asking someone for help or to be your mentor
f. Taking on a stretch assignment that is out of your current depth
iii. How the behavior you noticed might have affected the energy in the room (yours and/or that of others)
iv. How the behavior might have affected your contribution
v. How the behavior might have affected your feelings about others in the room, the project, and/or the course of action you are taking
The behaviors listed here tend to get in the way of showing up and contributing. They are often a sign that you might be hiding and a call to examine whether you could be more engaged in some way. Remember, the point isn’t that the behaviors discussed in this lesson are all bad, all the time; rather, the point is, you want to use awareness of how you show up to spend more time in the driver’s seat with regard to the choices you make about what you say, do, and believe.